realtalknic

What is the last conversation you had with your child? Think. Not just a demand for action or to give direction but a real conversation? Last week I was in Staples getting cleaning supplies of all things. If you know Staples then you know these items are in the back set of aisles. I was pulled from my deep concentration trying to decide on the best price for paper towels with the following exchange:  “Bring your ass up here! You ain’t no damn good!” I looked around to find the voice. It took me a minute because although it sounded loud enough to be right next to my ear….it was reverberating all the way from the front register.  I looked hard and thought…Do I know her? I know she isn’t talking to me!  As I scanned the scene I noticed the intended recipient of her tirade. Lil man had climbed up onto the second shelf of the cleaning supplies. So quiet he was that I didn’t even notice him! He was a beautiful boy but his eyes were sad. In the next 5 minutes I watched…mort...

If I see one more side eye, or hear one more disparaging remark about folks adopting outside of their race or same sex couples adopting children I may have to scream! These comments always seem to come from folks that have not adopted anyone so I am wondering how they became experts. While I have filled my home with various relatives from time to time and three kids of my own I have never adopted........but I am adopted and that experience gives me a strong point of view. In my case, my parents (mostly my Mom) saw someone else's bad situation of drugs and poverty and stepped in so a new baby wouldn't be added to that mix. Lower middle class themselves, a new mouth to feed wasn't in the plans......they were more Florida and James than Claire and Cliff  but they made it work for a short time. Then, MOM, made it work by herself for the rest of the time. No questionnaires and home visits......just a ride home from the hospital. And in that moment, I was saved from what was su...