realtalknic

A few years ago while running a corporate training event we had our participants do quick chats using conversation starter cards as cues. The results were great and it’s a staple for work meetings. As is often the case I practice on my kids prior to work to gage the flow and effectiveness of the activity.My kids and husband were not amused. Ha! "Corny!", they said!  Too bad. This is mom’s job on the line. Play along. So they did. And something magical happened. Amidst the nay saying, some fantastic and insightful conversations occurred. We made it a habit and it has been a winning tool in my parenting war chest. At the same time I began my completely unscientific and nosey study on conversations. A call it my Target Shopping Cart study. Because most of my eavesdropping occurred while pushing a cart buying things I didn’t know I needed at target.  It works like this…..listen to how people talk to their kids in Target. (walmart, Kroger, Costco….store doesn’t matter) ...

The Shame Game: An Internet Sensation Starring the one you say you love the best: Your wanna- be thug son….or perhaps your puberty passionate daughter. The plot is the same whoever plays the game: Child acts up and you show off on video and prove to the world you aren’t having no mess….not in your house. No way. You will give an old man’s hair cut…beat some ass with a cord, berate and announce new found sexuality….all for the internet fans!   The cast: You, the parent, must prove you are the star. Those likes and retweets give you life! The comments are like ratings and the more “go heads, I know that’s right” you get….the better you feel.   The co-stars …..you know the ones that did the deed….broke a rule…went off course, otherwise known as your child. They must show full remorse, head bowed, crying….oh now we are talking. Crying is proof of full embarrassment.   That rage and despondence and brokenness displayed….will the world ever know if that is remo...

If you know me in any capacity you probably know that I am obsessed with happy girls!! I am particularly fond of seeing brown girls that are happy because they are not commonly seen in the media. And just to be clear....I don't think girls should walk around all Stepford wifey with fake smiles all the time. I mean....happy with one self..carefree....comfortable in your skin....confident enough to give away a smile! I am so very fortunate to have tons of girls in many different ages and many different hues that fit this description. I view it as one of my many blessings. Topping my list tonight is my goddaughter Sydney. Tomorrow I will celebrate with her and her little friends for another big bash celebration. But tonight.......well tonight I am tired, and covered with glitter.......and my heart is full. In the nine years since Sydney was born my own daughter has finished her PhD, and med school and is happily performing surgery. I feel like I know a lil bit about ...

What is the last conversation you had with your child? Think. Not just a demand for action or to give direction but a real conversation? Last week I was in Staples getting cleaning supplies of all things. If you know Staples then you know these items are in the back set of aisles. I was pulled from my deep concentration trying to decide on the best price for paper towels with the following exchange:  “Bring your ass up here! You ain’t no damn good!” I looked around to find the voice. It took me a minute because although it sounded loud enough to be right next to my ear….it was reverberating all the way from the front register.  I looked hard and thought…Do I know her? I know she isn’t talking to me!  As I scanned the scene I noticed the intended recipient of her tirade. Lil man had climbed up onto the second shelf of the cleaning supplies. So quiet he was that I didn’t even notice him! He was a beautiful boy but his eyes were sad. In the next 5 minutes I watched…mort...