realtalknic

I spoke to a group of women at a fun heath conference/expo Saturday and asked them a very simple question…. Who are you? Right now, in this moment….Who are you? There were many answers that you may expect. I’m a mom. I am a wife. A sister. A mentor. A daughter. Ok, ok. Great.  Then…… One sister bravely raised her hand and her answer silenced the room. It was as if many people were thinking it, but none wanted to say it out loud. I wasn’t surprised at all. I let the silence linger. Finally, after that heavy, heavy pause, I repeated her answer:  “I am 41 years old and I really don’t know who I am.”  Wow. Heads started nodding. Shout outs and clapping for the not knowing. So many of us there hadn't even considered the question.  For as long as I can remember the women in my life defined themselves by how they were seen by other people. And sadly, when those roles ended they were strangers to themselves. Kids move? Adrift. Divorced? Hurt and stuck. Job...

I am one lucky girl. I am blessed with women in my life that I can count on, that want the best for me, and that I enjoy. I know it is a blessing because all around me I see examples of what it looks like when that is not the case. It is a curious thing, when relationships go wrong with women, because it starts early!! Like 7-8. All of a sudden someone thinks you think you're cute....or bossy....or...gasp! Conceited. They stop sitting next to you on the bus or at the lunch table. It is crazy because in many instances it has no reason....it is without explanation! As adults it's just the same. You can be friends with me as long as you stay in your lane......that job.....hmmmm, you fancy now? That house....bougie. No you didn't buy that couch I was looking at......I would laugh because it's funny but I could cry because it's true! So when I say I am blessed with women in my life that give me the fuel I need to be and do my best....I really do mean blessed. That I ...