realtalknic

Kids laughing, old timers groovin, old school R and B steaming through the outdoor speakers.....it's the sounds of summer. Think about it, those BBQs you remember most, the menu is always the same, it's the sounds that gauge if the party is jumpin.....long after the sun has set the music still plays. For me, the sound of summer means the splish splash of the pool and the crackling of the ocean's waves. This black girl don't run..............but she sure swims!! When it comes to swimming, our motto is the more the merrier. We get it in! All summer long. Nieces and nephews and neighbors, let's go. No one is getting thrown out of this pool....this is family!! 1 weekend pool crew, having fun! While no one gets thrown out.....there are rules to get in. Yup. Some rules. And the rules don't always go over very well. I've been accused of being bougie. (really?) Worried about insurance. (I'm not even making this up) And in many cases not taken seriously.......

realtalknic: With all the sounds of summer, listen for silence : Kids laughing, old timers groovin, old school R and B steaming through the outdoor speakers.....it's the sounds of summer. Think about i...

What is the last conversation you had with your child? Think. Not just a demand for action or to give direction but a real conversation? Last week I was in Staples getting cleaning supplies of all things. If you know Staples then you know these items are in the back set of aisles. I was pulled from my deep concentration trying to decide on the best price for paper towels with the following exchange:  “Bring your ass up here! You ain’t no damn good!” I looked around to find the voice. It took me a minute because although it sounded loud enough to be right next to my ear….it was reverberating all the way from the front register.  I looked hard and thought…Do I know her? I know she isn’t talking to me!  As I scanned the scene I noticed the intended recipient of her tirade. Lil man had climbed up onto the second shelf of the cleaning supplies. So quiet he was that I didn’t even notice him! He was a beautiful boy but his eyes were sad. In the next 5 minutes I watched…mort...

We have a common saying in our house; I can show you better than I can tell you! It was with that spirit that I brought my daughter, an MD, PhD, to my mentor session with The Young Ladies of Distinction, an empowerment group for girls at the Uptown Middle School in Atlantic City. Two of the young ladies met us at the front door of the school building. They were easily recognized by their purple pashmina scarves....a special treat to the uniform policy. Bright smiles and firm handshakes welcomed us and beckoned us to follow. The building was bustling with end of the day announcements and activity bells! These girls were as focused as if it were the beginning of the day! We started our meeting by listening to them say their creed in unison. Words of empowerment about their worth, their actions, their future were like music to my ears. To see them is to believe them. These girls mean business. I had previously arranged a tour at the world famous toy store FAO in NY for the girls...

The knock came early in the morning and sounded like the police. Bang, bang, bang! I moved slowly to answer but my 16 year old son was up and ready! He had been waiting for months. Years probably. Today is the day for his permit and 3 hour driving lesson! I was pretty certain he would be ok....not too sure about me though! My husband came to the banister....still sleepy from a late night at work. He pulled his robe close and said to the instructor, " That is precious cargo right there. I want you to know. " They gave each other long knowing looks and out the door we went! I was all smiles and chatter. Be careful. Listen. Pay attention. Let me get a picture. Have fun! All of the right things were said. I had done this twice before with my older children. No problem. I smiled and waved good bye. I made it up to the porch before the 1st tear slid down my face. Really? Where did the time go? So many fears.....it's dangerous out there. Don't use your phone. Keep your...

I love to save! And I love sharing the "how-to" of saving with friends. There was never a better time to share than fall of 2011......I call it the Great Toilet Paper Caper. I had been "couponing" as a hobby for a little while when I hit pay dirt! These kind of deals are super scarce these days but at the time this was an adrenaline raising, blood thumping, OMG moment! Take a look..... What you can't see are the bags and boxes of the rest next to my kitchen table!! It was all FREE! And I had $54 to spend on other things. It was mind blowing!! I was so excited I had a "how to" party for my friends and as a parting gift....well.....that got the thing that everyone needs!! A bag full of toilet paper! Ha! I gave away tons....put some in every bathroom, the laundry room, and the basement! It was everywhere! In the time that has passed I have had several parties with 50 plus people.....illnesses of the stomach variety if you know what I mean.....4 ...

I am one lucky girl. I am blessed with women in my life that I can count on, that want the best for me, and that I enjoy. I know it is a blessing because all around me I see examples of what it looks like when that is not the case. It is a curious thing, when relationships go wrong with women, because it starts early!! Like 7-8. All of a sudden someone thinks you think you're cute....or bossy....or...gasp! Conceited. They stop sitting next to you on the bus or at the lunch table. It is crazy because in many instances it has no reason....it is without explanation! As adults it's just the same. You can be friends with me as long as you stay in your lane......that job.....hmmmm, you fancy now? That house....bougie. No you didn't buy that couch I was looking at......I would laugh because it's funny but I could cry because it's true! So when I say I am blessed with women in my life that give me the fuel I need to be and do my best....I really do mean blessed. That I ...