Saturday, April 20, 2013

War of the Roses....Part 1

Let me just say...........I love my roses. Like, I am madly in love with them. At last count I have 26 total and the truth is.....I have not paid for any of them. That's right....not one. One was a gift from my sister and another a housewarming gift......the rest were from Craigslist. I cannot make this up. And, truth be told.....this makes me love them even more!

Seven years ago when I started my secret garden I had dozens of magazines and even more ideas and a very limited budget. ( meaning non existent!!) Now, the front of my house is very manicured. It looks like a responsible person lives here. Heehee! It is neat, and trim, and the grass has stopped folks driving by to did you get that grass so green!?'s not FUN! fun. And a girl needs fun, mystery, color............and if you have a ton of space to need $$$$$! Ha!

Enter Craigslist. The ad said Free Roses. And well, if it's's for me. Off I went at 7am with my shovel, gloves, and 2 wawa coffees. The young couple lived in a lovely home with tons of roses. Yup, tons. They were having a baby and didn't want the poor lil thing to get pricked. Now, in my mind I am thinking....what are you naming this baby? Sleeping beauty? Who worries about rose pricks before the baby gets here? Oy......I digress. Their gain. I dug those suckers out, loaded the car, and had thorns and vines flapping out the windows like I was a crazy woman. I planted them and you could not tell me I didn't have an official English Garden. Lots of swapping, and splitting, and a few years later and I have a problem.

The one item I did purchase for the garden was an arbor. Oh and she was cute too. Black wrought iron with a gate that closed. Love her! I put up the 1st lil pitiful vine and in my dreams it was overflowing........
then my dreams became a reality. And my rosebabies have been the hit of many a party and small Garden Tours. (ok, so the only ones that tour are my Godchildren and neighbors but....a tour is a tour)

Anyhoo.....the roses have gotten heavy and the winters have been harsh and it is time to get a new arbor. So I had to remove the one that's there. And save my babies in the process. Here is where I started:
Rust and damage. ugh!

Hot mess right here!

Old canes and split seams! Oh my!
Where to start...what to do! Lordy lordy! I popped up the hoody, gloved up, and prepared to do battle. I had done such a great job of training the bushes that detangling them was a job for a pro........ummm....I guess I am a pro because y'all already know I was NOT paying someone to help with roses that I had not paid for the begin with......grrrrrr. Ok, I am going in!!!

Started by uprooting the cement.......
                                                                      oh yeah! I am a boss. lol

Disconnected the top and pried off piece by piece to detangle slowly. ..... Ok.....this was full on crazy. Vines flying everywhere, completely wrapped with thorns sticking me.....omg, omg, omg!

Gangsta! I know my nosey neighbor was in the window waiting for me to get jacked! Too bad.....I did the damn thing! Woop!
The more progress I made, the more of a mess I was in. The whole experience reminded me of getting my hair combed on Sunday nights for school. My mom would say, "Did you brush your hair?" "Of course!" would be my reply. The truth is that I brushed the top but left the rest in knots. So when she got a hold of me.....Lord have mercy! So, it was like that with me and the bush. Instead of a comb......I had a shovel. I sounded just like Annette (my Mom) when I was screaming at the roses to hold still! Get over there! Don't move!! HAHAHA! And just like my younger self those poor bushes squirmed and shrieked...(well, they really didn't shriek but in my mind they were because I was tearing them up with that shovel trying to make some progress!)
By this time I feel like I have done battle and need a ref to come and count me out.....something! I am dying!

I swear this pic reminds me of how I used to look with my wild hair turned upside down ready for my mom to get at me with the comb. I'm telling y'all I could hear this bush saying....Don't do it! Don't do it! This is gonna hurt!!!
The clean up is just starting!

FINISHED! Parted that head right down the middle and ready for two pony tails.
Oh wait.....these are rose bushes! My bad!
So, here they are.....laid out waiting for the new arbor. I am hoping they wont go into extreme shock. I have some special treats for them tomorrow (lil coffee grounds and eggshells) to make them feel better and I am truly sorry for what I put them through. (and what I put me through!!) But for now.....the War of the Roses  has to be continued..........I need to get the Bengay out and map out my erection plan (get your head out of the gutter.....Arbor erection) for the AM. I said I wanted to be a gangsta gardener but this battle was a doozie on my back, and legs, and everything. More to come....tune in next time! Real talk!

1 comment:

  1. What a journey! I'm in suspense...can't wait to see Part 2!!!!